Gratitude is easier for the obvious gifts. Harder for the ones that arrived sideways — wrapped in difficulty, or carrying a cost, or arriving later than you needed them and finding you already changed.
This is a prayer for those.
For the years that were hard and made me something I could not have become any other way — I am, in retrospect, grateful.
For the people who told me difficult truths when the easier thing would have been silence — even the times I didn’t want to hear it, even the times it took years before I understood they were right — I am grateful.
For the plans that fell through and left a space that turned out to need the falling-through — for the doors that didn’t open, for the paths that went nowhere, for the prayers that were answered differently than I asked — I am, slowly, grateful.
For this particular season, imperfect as it is, with its specific difficulties and its specific gifts — for the fact that it is mine and not someone else’s imagined version of what my life should look like — I am grateful.
Teach me to hold lightly what I grip too hard. Remind me that I have been here before and found my way. Let the gratitude I manage today be honest rather than performed.
Amen.