Thoughtful Critiques of the Death Star

1. Shouldn’t it be larger?

2. Why is everything so fifty shades of grey?

3. Does “Death” really mean death?

4. Why are there no clocks on the walls?  Doesn’t evil require better timing?

5. Why is the Methodist Chaplain’s office next to Darth Vader’s pod?

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The Oblique World of Ruby

1. Hurley and I went to our own church in the living room. We were both overcome by the Holy Spirit and slept on the for most of our hastily arranged worship service.

2. Do you need help with the dishes?

3. I find it hard to babysit Hurley and tell people this is our house. It is a full time job.

4. Does my butt look big in this hair?

5. I haven’t seen in the Psychotic Feline String Wrangler in two days. Was she transferred to a home for the criminally insane?

6. When are we next having meat with gravy? It’s not so much the meat as it is the gravy.

7. If you look to your left, you can see my paw being placed on your right leg.

8. Do you and mother watching anything other than shows about the fat English king who killed his wives?

9. A board game where silence and paws are the keys to world dominations.

10. Did I just make a pet pun?