The Meandering World of Ruby

1. WE have formed the Dogs Number One Detective Agency of Ocracoke Island. You can call me Precious. We sniff out the crime, the homemade bread, and psychotic feline string wranglers.

2. No one told me eighth grade was going to be so hard.

3. I know the rain is pretty. Precious doesn’t pee in the rain.

4. Old Man Howard’s Chicken crossed the road yesterday. I know why.

5. I was behind him.

6. I think the concept of the self is overrated. Know thyself, more like, know thy trashcan.

7. Your hand smells like soap. I’ve smelled soap before. In your TRASHCAN.

8. I’d like to chip in toward getting Hurley an MRI. I’m not sure her brain is plugged in.

9. I admit it. I cannot tell the difference between the doorbell in the insulin commercial and the doorbell on Family Guy.

10. Put me in the car and take me somewhere. Drive me to see the tree near the place where the road has rocks. Or the end of the street would be fine.