5 Things I Wish Jesus Had Never Said (and Why)

1. Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what your will drink, or about your body, or your will wear. (I like to worry. I worry all the time. I worry about what’s for dinner though it’s never an issue. I worry about being overweight. I worry about sweet tea.) Matthew 6:25

2. Do not judge, so you that you may not be judged. (I judge people. I judge their grammar, behavior, destructive lifestyles, and things that have no bearing on anything. I judge. I shouldn’t but I do. I need to pray more and judge less. Part of my humanity is wrapped up in judging. I wish you’d never said this.) Matthew 7:1

3. Do not worry about tomorrow. (I worry about tomorrow sometimes more than today. I’ve borrowed so much trouble I’m in debt to the First National Bank of Next Week.) Matthew 6:34

4. Anyone who divorces is wife and marries commits adultery, and whoever marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. (I divorced my first wife and married another. My wife did the same thing. Jesus, this seems over the top harsh. I love my wife. We’re not adulterers. I wish you hadn’t said this.  Honestly, it hurts; especially considering how much work for the church she does too.) Luke 16:18

5. Stand up, take your mat, and walk. (Only you Jesus, can say these words. Now every pull yourself up by their bootstraps self-help guru thinks all you have to do fix poverty/illness is to tell the poor to stand up and walk. They don’t realize being Jesus also had something do with the man at the pool being healed.) Luke 5:9

–Richard Bryant