You Might Be A United Methodist If

Hilarious-and-funny-church-signs-from-around-the-US-12

1. If you cannot conceive of raising money without the sacrificial-like slaughter of a pig, you might be a United Methodist.

2. When you leave reviews on TripAdvisor or Yelp, you do it under the names Francis Asbury or John Wesley; you might be a United Methodist.

3. If your family’s name is permanently mounted somewhere in the church where you grew up, you might be a United Methodist.
“Yep, Grandma spent a lot time in this bathroom so it was only fitting we’d name the new toilet after her.”

4. If you’ve ever asked if you can guzzle the rest of the Welch’s grape juice and eat the leftover communion bread, then you might be a United Methodist.

5. If you’ve ever sold tickets to a meal people can easily prepare at home, you might be a United Methodist.

6. If you hear that, “the Choir is in the Chancel” and you believe the church has bought a new 15 passenger van from France, you might be a United Methodist.

7. If taking your shoes off and crawling under the pews still seems like the most exciting thing to do at church, you might be a United Methodist.

8. If you know the page number to the hymn “Shalom to You” in the United Methodist Hymnal, and you think it’s funny as Hell, you might be a United Methodist.

9. If you have no bumper stickers on your car because Methodists are not really sticker people, then you might be a United Methodist.

10. If you’ve ever been asked to give a play by play of your infant baptism in a Baptist church, then you might be a United Methodist. “There I was, my mama handed me over to this man in a big black robe, and suddenly, he was pouring water all over my tiny head…”

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