There has been much written over the past few days about “sincerely held religious beliefs” and what one can or cannot do if your sincerely held beliefs are threatened. After much reflection, I’ve decided to share a few of my sincerely held beliefs.
I believe my daughters can go out with their girl friends when they’re 12. I believe their dates with boys must wait until they are 38.
I believe the bowtie is the ultimate fashion statement for bald, middle-aged dudes. Religiously speaking, I try to match my bowtie to the appropriate liturgical color. I am devout about this practice.
I believe I knew a Russian Orthodox Holy man who took less time to decide whether or not to take a shower (after 10 years of isolation) than my youngest daughter did last Tuesday night.
I believe in colorful postage stamps featuring birds, civil rights leaders, authors, or fish.
I believe it’s impossible to have too much RAM. Have you seen what a terabyte is going for these days?
I believe my gag reflex is triggered by merely uttering the word “squash”. Words are powerful and conjure up images I prefer to avoid. “Squash” is tied for first place with “stewed okra”.
I believe the people who searched me in Irish customs knew my fountain pens weren’t drug paraphernalia. I believe I was American Geek profiled. Sadly, no one cared then or now.
I believe off shore accounts are probably a good idea. I’ve had accounts in Russian banks. The customer service in local bank branches (notably in northwest Moscow) ranks well below most American airlines on their worst days. You’ve never seen mean until you’ve met a Moscow branch manager.
I believe I have been given too many font selections. I like fonts but if I was forced to use only Times New Roman I’d live my life a happy man. Honestly, I’m 42 and I’m never going to get to 90% of what Microsoft Word has on offer. Who am I kidding?
I believe in colorful socks. I wear socks and shoes, often on an hourly basis. Sometimes I sleep in shoes and/or socks. The limits the ability of my sleeping companion (wife) to get a goodnight’s sleep. I believe she detests the practice.
If I don’t stop now, we’ll be here all day.