1. Church is a building; a religious franchise complete with signs, entrances, exits, a sale table and a manager called a “pastor”. We sell intangible goods and services such as peace of mind and tickets to paradise.
2. Church is somewhere you “go”, usually once a week on Sunday morning at 11:00 am.
3. The best people in the community go to church. The world, which is inherently “bad”, is full of people who don’t go to church.
4. Our primary function is to convince the “bad” people from the world to come into the church so they might see how cool it is to hang out with “good” people who dress casually and sing upbeat music. We want the “bad” people to become “good” people like us.
5. Church is what happens between 10:59 am Sunday morning and the moment the pastor says the Benediction. Everything else which happens at church during the week, that’s a “meeting” or “function”. Church is only on Sunday mornings.
6. The real work of the church is done somewhere else, called “the mission field’. This “mission field” is certainly not in our own community. We send our best “good” people (at great expense) to these places because that’s where the poor, physically needy, and emotionally broken are found.
7. We do ministry best in segregated groups which are based on gender or age; the men’s group, women’s group, or youth group.
8. People who are saved according to our standards go to heaven when they die.
9. Our mission is to “make disciples”. We say this ad nauseam, especially at the district and annual conference level. We assume that making disciples is the mission itself rather than overall goal that occurs organically if we’ve moving away from using the language of control and manipulation (e.g. we make, we control, we transform).