Food for Thought-The Wal-Mart Blues


The Wal-Mart Blues

We are heading out tomorrow morning to our new church on Ocracoke Island, NC.  We made a run to Wal-Mart to stock up on a few supplies before the trip.

Beer bellies and bad tattoos,
26 check-out lines and just two working,
I got the Wal-Mart blues,
Flip-flops malfunctioning,
You don’t need no shoes,
keep on walking,
I got the Wal-Mart blues,
Leave your cart in the space I’m parking,
Cut me off while I choose,
The biscuit I hoped to be eating,
I got the Wal-Mart blues,
Customer service manager smirking,
When I tell her the news,
My lawn mower ain’t starting,
I got the Wal-Mart blues,
All over searching,
The automotive center for clues,
Bald heads with pony tails lurking,
I got the Wal-Mart blues,
The cash register ain’t checking,
A Dude on steroids tries to schmooze,
The cute pharmacist who just started working,
And I still got the Wal-Mart blues.

–Richard Bryant


Food for Thought-The Misanthropic Misadventures of Myles Mayhew and His Moderately Manageable Mother


The Misanthropic Misadventures of Myles Mayhew
and His Moderately Manageable Mother

On a mostly moderate Tuesday morning clear,
Before the start of school,
he asked, “Mother dear,
have you seen my mathematical tools?”
To which she sneered,
“The calculator, abacus, or protracting rule?”
“No, I fear
something much more useful,
a sundial, the ultimate in time gear,
covered in precious jewels,
surely the whole class will cheer,
and I’ll be no fool,
Mr. Mugglywump will not jeer,
Farney Farnsworth might drool,
as my awesome wrist nears.”

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-There’s Hole in My Argyle Sock


There’s a Hole in My Argyle Sock

There’s a hole in my sock,
Whatever will I do,
How can I walk,
With gum and chew,
Or attempt to talk,
While I’m very blue,
As those who gawk,
At the in Argyles in my shoes,
My socks are bound for dry dock,
The only path to choose,
Though not an angry walk,
I’ll pick green and blue
and dress ad hoc.

–Richard Bryant