Food for Thought-I’m Not a (Fill in the Blank) But…


If you start a sentence,
“with you know I’m not a racist, but”,
you’ve already said something to me,
your next words will be diet racist smut,
Splenda flavored bigotry,
carried on empty phrases like a crutch.
I’m sure, “all these people need to do is see..”
will be the next to emerge from the rut,
of gussied up hate you love so much.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-Sunday Evening Shakespeare Fun

As You Like It,
I take,
Measure for Measure,
Of sweet sugar in my tea,
While I eat my supper with,
Julius Caesar
Romeo and his friend
For dessert,
We sip fine Italian wine,
With Two Gentleman from Verona,
Who upon them,
No Love’s Labour’s Are Lost,
And for this we are grateful,
Says I,
Richard the First,
Methodist Parson on Howard Street.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-Upon the Reading of Dylan Thomas Whilst Traveling from Ocracoke to Hatteras

Upon the Reading of Dylan Thomas Whilst Traveling from Ocracoke to Hatteras

Chalky days of grass covered sand,
Blown along this uneven strip of land,
Your abruptness takes my left hand,
As if to say,”would you, could you, perchance to see,”
A means to stand upon this ill-defined promontory with me,
While under the fig tree
On Howard street
The webs of mortal profundity
Are woven ever so cleanly,
Amid the dust, holes, and obsidian smelling rocks,
Where the small people hide,
Away from prying eyes,
Surrounded by living oak trees,
But never free,
Just below the meniscus,
Where they curse us for our cleanliness,
And because we are we.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-I’m Mean

I’m Mean

You know what?
I’m mean,
I decided today,
no more nice,
you could pour all the ice,
on my head,
I’d still be mean,
meaner than,
an illiterate snake
at a book festival,
in Northern Alaska,
stocked with plentiful
books on reading escapades,
that’s mean,
so mean,
I may start
freebasing caffeine,
so I can be meaner,
when the buzz fades,
I can then be mean,
in the late afternoon shade.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-A New List of Fears

I am working on a new list of fears,
Rheumatoid Arthritis,
Drinking the wrong beer,
Being shot by a white dude,
Getting fat,
Finding out my credit score,
Am I buying the right dog food?
Waking my wife when I snore,
Having my head cut off in some feud,
Should I eat more health food?
Are my nonexistent dentures coming unglued?
This is more than I can handle,
I’m going to light a fireless candle,
For I’m terribly afraid,
Of what might come about,
If a blaze were to burn out of control,
Especially since I’m writing on a totem pole.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-I’m Worried About Local Warming

I’m Worried About Local Warming

I’m worried about local warming,
that’s because this morning,
I went outside,
and without any warning,
discovered my skin was burning,
my delicate pale hide,
was starting to sweat,
one could take bets,
as to when I would go inside,
to find a cool place to hide,
but my stomach was churning,
though my head was yearning,
for a hat or a fan,
all I did was stand,
like a fool,
anything but cool
though one moment soon,
I’ll take hold,
of something cold,
something really nice,
like ice,
or an Icelandic professor,
maybe a compressor,
or a frozen Mason jar,
even A Klondike Bar,
then I’ll be worried from afar.

–Richard Bryant

Food for Thought-I Need A Fan

I Need A Fan

Dammit man,
I need a fan!
there’s something,
about this stagnant sand,
if I controlled the world,
I would make the wind whirl,
directly on me,
except when I pee,
because that would be gross,
people wouldn’t host,
a preacher who smelled of urine,
though he knew all about Martin van Buren,
the 8th and greatest president of all,
Old Kinderhook is OK,
just like this humid day,
a day needing more of breeze,
so the insects may not bite my knees,
they might text instead to their friends downstream,
Tap, tap, tic, tic, buzz, buzz, wee, wee,
which is dragonfly for,
you vant velive vhat ve see down vy viver side,
the dragonfly sounds like Count Chocula I know,
but where else could a bug with such a large head go,
perhaps Sesame Street really is off Light House Road.
and Mr. Michael Bangouro of Nigeria will give me a call,
about the money I let him hold,
in that bank in Senegal.

–Richard Bryant