1. Talk about the small town you live in, the wholesome values embodied by this town’s economic decline, and how people who live elsewhere are morally lacking when compared to your town
2. Talk about how you work a typical blue-collar job at a “plant”. Make references to “clocking out” and how at the end of a hard week’s work you feel entitled to a weekend of alcohol consumption and bad decision making
3. Talk about your woman, how she’s hot, wears skimpy clothes for you and enjoys going to a river with you to engage in vaguely implied carnal activity.
4. Talk about how you go to church and belief in God is important to you and how this is the logical extension of your weekend of drinking and vague carnal activity with your scantily clad “honey” down by the river
5. Repeat the four previous points in rapid succession behind an array guitar riffs and background vocals
Richard’s Reasons Why Watching Paint Dry Can Be Fun!
1) Paint verses of the Bible or Shakespeare on your wall. As they dry, memorize them!
2) Use the drying time to spend quality time with interesting and nice people.
3) Decide, as the paint dries, whether or not you are truly color blind.
4) Use your staring time to pick or change your favorite color.
Arrived from Dublin,
tired and wasted,
broke but not down,
accents strange on the ground,
sharing an outlet with a rabbinical brother,
God’s power flows all around,
witnesses to mercy abound,
making this bench,
for a moment,
while we pray,
for this sweaty day,
people needing rides,
to their lives,
points in between,
and overwhelming fatigue.
Sunrise on the Liffey,
Dublin comes alive,
Do you tink kynde sire,
Where myght I styr,
In what hovel should I poke,
To find a wee diet coke?